Now this society, seemed to want certain age only, do not marry to be able to be become to do an eccentric person, believe the experience that very much big and single young person has had the marriage that be urged, so, in the marriage that be urged when we should how is resource dissolved?
How does the marriage that be urged do
1. above all the manner is close friends
You must are opposite parental manner is first-rate, remember them well to be able to follow you likely angry, anxious, take a table to you even, shed tear, you need to had made adequately preparation, maintain good mood.
2. maintains first to their viewpoint approbate
Resemble ” play a ball game ” same, you must let them first ” dozen ” come over, you again ” dozen ” go back, always cannot be in ” attack ” . So you want to do above all, be approbate and understand their love to you, worry about to yours: “Mom, if I am you, my child does not marry, I also am met special be anxious. I am special understand you, your pressure is constant very big. ” mom can feel by warmth.
3. analyses demand
Parents is urged marriage, the biggest reason is you did not resolve this issue in right time. Your demand is I should look for the talented person that I like to marry. Actually, we and parents’ biggest difference is to be on time place.
4. has thought he wants saying word and sufficient reason
Had not married now about why arriving, even a few about ” life ” if problem. You should make parents clear, you are to your life have a program, have a consideration, you are grow up with, mature manner lives in what treat his. If you live so that resemble dot same, make the what friend, word that wears what dress to want to seek parental opinion, you discuss marital issue with parents, they are absolutely won’t believe what one hears at you.
You need to had made very sufficient preparation, have phonetic preparation already, also want to have the preparation on behavior. The preparation on behavior, it is you should begin from now, each thing should be done very maturely, is not communicating with them only whether to marry the ability on this problem matures suddenly, parents cannot be accepted.
How does the marriage that be urged reply
1 seek common points while reserving difference
Say oneself were considering to marry, go up to had not come down surely as to time, what saying a few cummer is good the advantage that perhaps marries, and the child wants with respect to the plan after marrying, pa Mom listened very pleasing to the ear also, also let them be at ease at the same time. Talking about oneself plan in the future, mom letting father feels you are a person of in a planned way, not be to be engaged in blindly.
2 turn over will one army
Say I am adult, work sensible, marrying is the thing of lifetime, cannot trifling matter, after I choose what kind of person to marry, want to be in charge of to her, this is the main point that makes a man, after I want to wait for the life to stabilize, be in marry, will can give her a good life, and come you worry about less also. If you are true so urgent, I look for to marry casually, did not go down too in the future, divorced you can want to be in charge of. If myself chooses, how won’t no matter will come,I blame you.
3 move opposite teaching material
My junior high school learns together, it is family those who urge is urgent, the introduction that passes a soubrette meets one woman student, 3 months did not arrive to marry with respect to carelessly, there are 5 years now, a darling of 3 years old divorced, the child is so small do not experience pa Mom coinstantaneous to love, the growing affirmation shadowiness of this pair of children. All I feel to marry or want mutual between much understanding a few.
4 move topic
Say oneself life goal, how to plan, the plan in the future is how, how long goes finishing. Pa Mom hears the son that has a program so also not quite examining minutely more.
Why the parent likes to urge marriage
One, the Chinese type marriage that the task changes
Taiwan scholar Sun Longji is in its composing ” the deep-seated structure of Chinese culture ” in write: “Be in the China of collectivistic culture, a person is half-baked, he cannot form the social unit of existence even, the bachelor that if be done not have,crosses the home and big not marriage daughter, bedlamite is waited a moment, they can are by repulsion besides familial system, devoid speech counterpoises, also can be ignored on loaves and fishes, must written guarantee legitimate child constituted a whole family, next this family just can form unit of a considered society, and in consist in society and familial system. And in consist in society and familial system..
2, the filial piety culture that is based on kin
China has an adage: “Disobedient have 3, after notting have, be big. ” arrive in light of us ” filial piety ” the structure of the word, fluctuation fractionation, often going up, child falling. Alleged ” filial piety ” , namely ” child bear old ” , namely: “The child should carry the old person on the back on him body ” . “Child bear old ” , have assumed meaning already, also take inheritance, successive idea.
Does the marriage that be urged choose ignore to be opposite
Some people face family urge marriage, meeting choice is niminy-piminy, perhaps laugh and pass, but such insoluble basic problems. Probably male friend wants to marry moment, some schoolgirls want better corporeal foundation to be in marry, two people produced difference to prospective program, go against emotive to develop so, be misunderstood very easily even to be you by family and did not plan the thought that marry, perhaps misunderstand you to be the woman of corrupt admire vanity.
In emotional life, the key wants love the program that two people had made pair of future, increase the chance that parallel bars communicates, let both sides reach consensus to future. In the meantime, family is urged ceaselessly marriage often be to you the future of two people does not understand, want to stop them to urge the action of marriage, the angle that is about to stand in family considers an issue, increase the chance that communicates with family, let them understand you to plan to what did not come more, understand each other, let them know the think of a way in your heart, such ability let in the future get along more harmonious.
As the schoolgirl, answer parents to urge the behavior of marriage to be able to make them more anxious only with niminy-piminy means, use force to you ceaselessly thereby, you do not agree to face reality, be inferior to jumping out bravely comfortable circle, dedicated him career while the society takes care of him, promote oneself value ceaselessly when you, become more outstanding, such they still can fear you are married do not go out, perhaps worry about the life that didn’t you come to? The society lessens the worry of family, often can reduce them to urge the odds that you marry so.